Day 17: another zero in Sierra city. Sorry I'm cranky.

I feel dissatisfied. I want to leave and move on, pressing ever closer to my destination, building up my miles and my legs. I want to stay and heal my blisters and enjoy doing nothing, and watch soccer.  I want to feel productive. I want to zone out. Meh
Oh, and because it's the Summer Solstice today, it is tradition to hike naked. How am I missing this?! Hikers are a weird, awesome bunch. I want to be one.

I'm annoyed with the Red Moose, 1) for not making it more clear that they charge to receive packages, 2) for taking an hour and a half to do ANYTHING--make breakfast, give out packages, ect--, and 3) because the old guy continues to vassillate between creepy or assholish.
Maybe I've just been in this small town too long. Too much of a good thing will ruin it. I feel that waiting so long here has ruined this town. I'm annoyed that I had to say goodbye to the coolest group of hikers I've met so far, and know that I will probably never catch up to them. I suppose I miss the comradery of other shamelessly disgusting people. We talk about the most innapropriate things until someone (carrot) spits out their soda from laughing too hard, and then we just keep laughing.

Today is much different than the last few. The town is having their Sesquecentennial (sp?) and suddenly the street is filled with new faces, and everywhere feels crowded. Our perch on the deck of the General Store is no longer ours, and I find it difficult to get in with the other hikers who are left or who just came in. I walk around town, going on a cemetery tour, my blisters doggin me, and the heat making me cranky. I've felt a little cranky all day, and I hope it goes away soon, because I am so excited to have Kacie on the trail with me. However, the prospect of keeping low miles for two weeks is a little disheartening. I'm sure Kacie could do bigger miles, but it's so hard to plan where we should end so that she can get back to Reno easily. I realize that planning to get to Crater Lake on August 9th, might have been an underestimate on my part. I suppose we'll see. Every time I feel like I'm progressing, I end up takin zeros and then workin myself back up to miles. I suddenly feel like all my planning has been shit. I've over estimated how many days btw resupplies, so have been carrying way too much food, and already wish I had a different pack. I think the first few weeks are just all about trial and error, before I find my groove. I hope I find it soon.

Tomorrow morning Kacie gets dropped off by Truckee Tim, and then we will gather all our gear and food, I will pack up a box to send ahead, and then we will spend the day doing nothing. I hope my legs don't wither up before our huge climb out of here on Monday. I think we are in for a bit of a struggle. What a great way to welcome someone to the trail!

Things are dying down, now, and I might attempt to take a nap to get myself out of this funk. Kimchi is going down to Truckee until tomorrow, so I will officially be rolling solo tonight. Sigh. The trail gives, and she takes away.

Addendum: I'm in such a mood I forgot to thank Jackie and Charity for sending me letters!! It was such a treat (when I finally got my packages) to also be handed two letters, filled with nothing but ties to the real world and encouragements. I can't describe how special it made me feel, so thank you thank you, ladies! And it helps to remind me that I am doing something few people are privileged to do; and even on the not-so-awesome days, it's still better than almost anything else. REMEMBER THIS, BREE!