Day 22: to Bucks Lake and the surprise Trail Angel

June 26
15 miles

I continue to struggle. No surprise.
Today I question seriously why I'm doing this. To my body. To my mind. Right now, in this moment, I want to quit. I know I don't really, and I won't, but right now that's all I can think about.

I wonder how I would be doing on my own. Obviously I would be going slower, but I also wonder if I would be in such misery. There is something about having a witness to your pain that tends to amplify it. Make it more tangible. Kacie is the unwitting witness to my suffering, and my suffering is only getting worse. I know this isn't what either of us signed up for, and I feel terrible for it.

Ten hard miles into our day, we unexpectedly pass a sign posted to a tree talking about a Trail Angle in the small residential area around Buck's Lake--offering food, showers, laundry and rest. It is 3 miles on the PCT from our current location, and then another 2 miles down a paved road. I want to go to there.

We hash it over, knowing we'll have to do at least 20 miles tomorrow, but in the end we both decide a hot shower and laundry win. I call the Angel and she asks if we'll need to be picked up when we reach the road--Kacie shakes her head and I tell the lady we'll walk. Famous last words.

It's a hard 3 miles to the road, and as soon as we step off the trail I feel as if I can't go any further. I know Kacie would be embarrassed to ask the lady to come and pick us up, so I trudge along, but painfully slow. Finally she tells me to call, but I'm too stubborn at this point to concede. Why do I always do this?! It basically becomes a torture march,  with all parties becoming increasingly upset.

Once we get to the house, and see the other hikers who are staying there, and meet the amazing Trail Angel, Nancy, all of our frustration with the day and each other evaporates. We are clean, our laundry is done, and we are fed a delicious meal. We make new hiker friends (two other solo women hikers Wardrobe and Mountain Goat) and see our old Sierra City pal Smokes, along with an older man, Burning Daylight.

We make s'mores by the fire, relax into the night, and enjoy the company of other wonderful people. I hurt. My spirits are not as high as I want, but right now I am comfortable and happy. Tomorrow we get a ride to the other trailhead (we don't have to walk 6 miles around the lake!) and then it's only 19 more miles to Belden, and the trail Angel there!